Friday, September 30, 2011

Purpose, attitude, and chores

The Circumstance
This house is always messy. I want to be able to clean, and not just pick up, but clean. Empty drawers and cupboards, go through old clothes and get rid of items I don't want or need. But I only have time or energy to clean up and no more time or energy to do the project I originally intend to do. Its very frustrating and I feel like I'm in a pig sty all the time, even if its picked up, because I know how much stuff we have and how much we need to get rid of.
I'm thankful for James. He took Paxton out last night and even in just one hour I got so much cleaned up and had the opportunity to go through cupboards. I filled a whole box with items I don't use and I feel so good. I was exhausted to start out with, but I gained energy along the way because it's so exhilarating to be free of my little shadow, who seems to follow me every where I turn and leaves a path of destruction behind him. A wise woman once told me everything I do gets undone; I clean and it gets messy again, I cook and it gets eaten. I need to find something else where I can see results. Someone else said its like stringing a strand of pearls with no knot at the end.

The Word
Proverbs 3:34 Surely He scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble.

The Application
Life is all about me, but its not about me at all. I have been called to be a mother right now. In this season of my life I am to be faithful in the small things regarding my home and my husband and my son. And in doing this I am to be humble. That is the part that is all about me. The rest is not about me. Its about glorifying God in all things. When I pick up the toys for the umpteenth time it should be that I am picking up the toys for the Lord, not just for Paxton, and not just for my sake, to have a clean house. When I cook the meals it is to the glory of God, for the Lord, not just out of duty as a housewife. I am no one's slave, I humbly choose to serve the Lord in this manner. For the glory of the Lord, this is why I live.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I wish I could be in control, but I'm so glad I'm not

The Circumstance
We got back from vacation yesterday. It was a wonderful time away, but transitioning back into home-life is usually pretty rocky for Paxton. To add to it, he got a set of shots today and his big back teeth are trying to break through. Poor guy. And poor mommy. He woke up extremely angry, or just in pain, or confused as to where he is....whatever it was for it was not pretty. He wasn't happy and let me know it. Screaming, scratching at my face, arching his back when I held him but standing with his arms raised if I put him in his crib... I never know what to do in these situations. Force cuddling? Never goes well. Advil? I hate to use drugs if they aren't necessary (and they unfortunately took away Hyden's Teething Tablets, they're the only homeopathic remedy I have found to work, including what my naturopath suggested). What worked, you ask? Frozen blueberries. He threw them at first, but I allowed it since it caused him to stop screaming and focus on the task at hand. Once they were mostly all on the floor, he put one in his mouth. His face lit up and he continued stuffing his face. One by one he picked them up off the floor and delightfully ate them. Tantrum turned into joy and our afternoon was much more pleasant from that moment on.

The Word
John 3:26
And they came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, He who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have testified-behold, He is baptizing, and all are coming to Him!"

The Application
My life is all about me, but its not about me at all. When my son cries I want to help him, I want to fix it, I want to kiss the tears away and make the world a better place for him. But sometimes I just can't. In the bigger picture of it all, I can't protect my son from difficulties in life, and really I don't want to because it would cause him more harm than good. But my mother's heart hates to see him cry. But its not about me. Its about God being glorified and its often a painful process to do that. The part that is about me is my choice to surrender all to Jesus. That has nothing to do with anyone but me. John did what he was asked to do by the Lord but he knew it wasn't about him. Then Jesus came and took the spotlight away from John. "They" (John's disciples) came to John to tell him about the other guy doing what John was doing. This moment was no longer about Jesus or the disciples or the others being baptized, it was all about John. What would John do with this news? John chose to surrender all. He could have become prideful, after all, he was the one doing the baptizing but now they were all going to Jesus to be baptized. But John saw the bigger picture and God was glorified through John's choice to let the Lord reign. When I parent, there are many times when I am not in control. I want to be because I often feel that life is all about me and my way is best. But, like John, I must surrender all. Paxton's life and things that he does or things that happen to him are not about me. The part that is about me is how I respond. Am I doing what God asked me to do?